It didn’t hit me until just now that I hadn’t posted in a week. Things have been busy … well, things are always busy, but I honestly haven’t had much time to stop and catch my breath lately, much less post a few thoughts.

At work last week, the owner of the company stated that he wanted us to start accounting for our time, and give him daily production reports. The last time we all had to do this, they were preparing to fire someone … gee, wonder if anyone else has caught on to this?

I’m too tired to care anymore. And for all I know, they could be getting rid of me and/or Jim. We aren’t exactly winning any popularity contests recently. Apparently I have made a name for myself as a “self-righteous self-absorbed anal-retentive bitch” (a direct quote from one of my co-workers). It seems that I’ve made so many “friends” by speaking up at the employee meetings, voicing complaints and concerns, and standing up for my department.

This astounds me. I don’t complain about my workload. I don’t complain about not having the equipment I need to more effectively do my job. I don’t complain about being short-handed. I don’t take 10 30-minute smoke breaks every day. Hell, I even help the office man the phones when they’re short handed, or all busy. I pull my weight, I get the job done, and I don’t bitch about it. The only time you’ll hear me bitch is when there is a real problem. And usually when I am bitching, I have at least once suggestion on how to take care of the problem, or my opinion on how to make things better.

Since when is that a bad thing? Oh wait, I forgot … “any chimp can be hired to do this job” (a direct quote from the office manager a year or so ago about my department).

I don’t play games every afternoon as soon as the owner leaves. I don’t sit and surf the internet for 3 or more hours a day. Yeah, I check my emails and I blog, but I do it on my lunch/break. (I don’t smoke, I blog! hehe) During downtime, I research new software, scripts, etc.; perform software upgrades; look for things to improve our routines and workflow. (and technically upgrading my blog counted this/last month because a client wanted it done on his, so I tested mine first!)

Show me a chimp who can do that … oh wait, that’s right, that’s me.

It’s rainy out today, and sort of matching my mood. I’ve been really unhappy lately. I can’t pin it down to just one thing, there has been a myriad of things bothering me lately, but it’s been building … and I stand before what could be considered a crossroads due to a culmination of events over the past few years.

I hate my job. I’m sick of living paycheck to paycheck. Sure, the benefits are ok, and I know that I am lucky to have a job in this field (because I know so many who are still unemployed), but as I’ve said before: the Birmingham IT market is a proverbial black hole.

Sure, a *few* more people are hiring now than 2 years ago, but can I really wait another 2 years, 3 years, or longer, just to finally find a job that I enjoy and where the employer’s business practices aren’t quite so “shady”? (Can we say ‘Scrushy’ boys and girls? *shudder*)

But I digress …

It’s not only the job thing getting me down. My allergies are getting worse, despite the wonderful treatment of my doctors. I’m fucking miserable. I’m tired of not being able to breathe, tired of sneezing and itching, wanting to claw my eyes out, the red whelps on my face, neck, and arms because I’m allergic to every particle floating around in the air right now. I feel like I need one of those face masks whenever I walk outside, LOL.

Jim knows I’m unhappy. Bless his heart, he’s making the best of things, and tries to keep me happy. (and does a damned good job, God love him) I know he’s unhappy. He is just as miserable with his job, if not more.

We’ve been talking about moving out of state — Jacksonville, Florida to be exact. For better job opportunities, for my health, to get a change of scenery, make a fresh start. I started thinking of the things that keep me tied down here. My family and my house … the house can be sold, and I will always have my family, no matter where I am.

Last night I had to get out for a bit to get some air and just get away from everyone (we had spent the day with Jim’s mom), and I sat out in the dark listening to one of my favorite sounds and remembered why I liked it here: summertime in the south. I could hear the songs of the same tree frogs and bullfrogs Jeremy and I used to catch and keep as pets. The crickets were chirping all around me. I used to catch those to feed the frogs and some of our fish. Every once in a while I’d hear an barn owl screech (one lives near our house).

The Gardendale community is a bird sanctuary, so everybody and their brother has bird feeders and houses out for them. Every morning I can look out my window and see cardinals, blue jays, mockingbirds, finches, etc. Jessie has always enjoyed sitting out food and treats for them. (although we’ve stopped because the newest neighborhood cat has learned where the feeder was and was killing them when they came to feed … combination bird-feeder/cat-feeder! LOL)

Again, I digress …

This place has always been my home. And in a way, I’m a little sad because I know that if we are going to have a better life, we’ve gotta go somewhere else … but I *HATE* Florida for the most part. The weather: I mean I’m terrified of tornadoes, and they have freakin’ Hurricanes!!!! Plus there’s the tourists, and they have no mountains, the roadways are set up weird (no passing lane!?!?!), and then there’s the tourists, … And I would be missing college football season like a mofo! (Roll Tide *pout*)

On the other hand, both Jim and I have family down there, the job market is better. The one thing I worry about most is finding a place we can afford that’s not too close to the city, but not too far from where we’ll be working. Also, there’s Jessie and the issue of finding a school for her. She’s going to a wonderful school now, and as much as I’d love to be able to send her to a private school down there, I know we are not going to be able to afford it.

Anyways … nothing’s definite, we’re only talking about it. But Jim has been saying since I met him that he wanted to move back to Jacksonville someday. And right now, that is looking better than staying here.

If anything, sitting outside for a bit last night reminded me of something else: I hate cities! What can I say, I’m a country girl at heart. *sigh*

After playing around with a couple of spell-check-type plugins for WordPress, the bright idea hits me to find one for Firefox instead. (Honestly, I should’ve thought of this sooner … senility I tell you!)

I remembered seeing a post on Extensionsmirror.nl about a plugin that would spell check textarea and input values.

It took a short bit of work to get installed and properly configured. (Had to use the install wizard on the site in the end because I guess I screwed up the manuall install somehow … oh well, whatever works!) And now I can spell check my posts BEFORE submitting them.

Friday was an emotional roller coaster ride … or was/is that my PMS?

Well anyways … I got my check Friday, and surprise surprise! (well, not really) I was shorted a few hours AND my overtime was not time and a half pay. For a while I had not been claiming all of my time if it was little insignificant stuff like research, routine server maintenance, quick fixes, etc. all stuff done from home. That stops now. I’m tired of being nice and getting the ole ramrod routine for it.

Don’t get me wrong … these people are nice, and they are very flexible (usually) when it comes to needing time off for Jessie’s school things, and stuff like that. But when it comes to getting paid: if you’re not in the family, good luck.

On to other things … we caught Episode III: Revenge of the Sith at the Amstar in Alabaster. Pretty good, but I couldn’t help but feel DEPRESSED when leaving the theater.

Wait, I already posted on this … I swear I’m going senile …

Let’s see … Saturday I had a “mega headache from Hades” so I didn’t do a whole lot. Jessie came over late that afternoon and Jim went off with some friends, so Jessie and I vegged out on the couch and watched movies.

She had been invited to a birthday party held yesterday for one of her classmates … at Chuck E. Cheese. My GOD the amount of kids there!! LOL It was a madhouse. I honestly don’t see how anyone working there manages to keep their sanity, but the staff were very helpful and the lady who held the party said that C.E.C. did everything for her: setting the table, getting drinks, passing out kids’ tokens & prizes, getting food & cake, etc. I was really impressed. We had been thinking about doing something similar for Jessie for her birthday … after all, that’s *only* her favorite place on the planet.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm … I smell hamburgers! (We’re having a “company bonding” day here at work, the owners are grilling hamburgers for everyone.)

*grins* I grossed out the Sales manager by walking in and inspecting the hamburgers and said “Oh YUM! Charred animal carcasses!”

(hehehehe, some people are just too fun to leave alone.)

I had wanted to link to a picture of her, but couldn’t find one that was as pretty as the one in the movie. I had managed to catch a snapshot of one of the flash e-cards on StarWars.com: