Courtesy of Teresa:

A woman was at home, happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight, when her husband walked in. He stood, watching her for a while, then asked, “Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What’s the matter with you?”

The woman continued to bounce on the bed and said, “I don’t care. I just came from having a mammogram, and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18-year-old.”

The husband then asked, “What did he say about your 56-year-old ass?”

“Your name never even came up,” she replied.