I was hoping for a sign that would contradict what I was fearing. I saw your silence as your way of saying,
"I really don't want to deal with you", "I don't want you around", etc. It's been my experience in the past
as to what that means, so I assumed that you're no different. I was so sure that you'd reply and prove me
wrong, but I guess that's me getting my hopes up too high.
I tried to warn you that I was like this. My signature reads: "I'm smart, strong-willed, and attractive.
If that scares you, tough shit!" Well, I believe most of that to be true, and quite frankly, few men stick
around long enough to put up with me. I guess that's why I find it surprising that men on the net are so
intrigued by me ... because they don't know the half of me -- my fears, the anger, everything that I hide
from the outside world.
That's why I put up a barrier, to protect myself not only from others, but also from me.
Maybe that's why I invest so heavily into Love. It's something that's supposed to be pure and warm and all
that is good.
I love so wrecklessly, hoping that one day I'll stumble upon that which will make me happy, and praying that I will
have the eyes to see it.